Family Cohesion.

One day last week, when it was particularly warm for May in England, I killed myself running up a hill. Just as I was recovering and my poor body was still feeling the effects of poorly oxygenated blood and possibly prone to hallucinations, I saw a vision.  Like many other worldly events, I felt it before I perceived it and it passed by so rapidly I had time to doubt that I had seen it at all. Before me, keeping in perfect step were a family I knew from school. They were a formidable sight, running, but with synchronized breathing, step and stride. Mum's ponytail had the correct amount of swing for such a situation, each jaw was relaxed and no tension was found in any family member's face. They ran as a unit and I was awed how closely packed they were without tripping on each others ankles. This is not a family with teens or grown up children, their ages span from the bottom to the top of primary. I felt as if I was watching a training session led by the famous Irish Catholic priest Colm O' Conner and I was witnessing something awesome. Mum waved at me enthusiastically and I wheezed a greeting back, the children smiled big, real, happy smiles.... and then the vision was gone.

I slowly recovered from the damage the hill had inflicted, ruefully wondered why I am not better at this by now and I couldn't shake the image of that family unit out of my head. So together! So single minded! So beautiful!  It has been a tall order to ask and expect all members of my family to go for a daily walk, all of us and at the same time.  When I have spent time cajoling and throwing in the odd bribe we have managed a short zombie, footed drag - with constant lamentations thrown into the ether as they come to grips with the difficulties of walking.  There are difficulties, as the only runner in the family,  this means after I have brutalised myself on hills, I cannot go out again having used up my daily quota of exercise.  Not to mention the damage my husband has managed to inflict upon himself.  'Don't run too far' I forewarned him when he grew giddy with excitement of all the newfound time he had... 'Take it easy'. He didn't and compounded a niggle into full blown plantar fasciitis and then stiffened up his back from the poor posture this brought on.  His zombie, footed drag is not brought about by a mental reluctance, right now - that's the only way he can walk.

My family do not share my love of all things outside, urban walking and nature. In many ways I cannot place the blame on them. Before I became a mother I was too busy enjoying Leeds as a city. When I became a mother in Leeds, without a car, my eyes saw differently and my breath was temporarily knocked from my lungs as I came to grips with a new vision of where I lived. A vision born of a need for comfort and protection, not access to nightlife.  The poverty of where I was living became brutal and relentless; my small town, country self could not fathom how inner city poverty worked. All I saw was ugliness and was heavily influenced by the bad mouthing my area attracted. When the two eldest were babies I felt trapped and alone. It wasn't until much later, when I became a runner, that I discovered the beauty of my surroundings and how accessible all that is. I think I missed my window of opportunity to pass the enthusiasm on.

And so, for us, we will never be seen as a vision, running or even walking in unison as a close knit unit. For starters one of mine still has a tendency to fall over imaginary rocks and another can't get down the street without a 'drop and roll' stunt move as a shark or aliens makes their pesky move; and I am lucky if I can get them to remove their earphones. We are a gang of off-kilter individuals who. of late, have spent far too much time together than is necessary. We may not display such a beautiful display of unity as I witnessed from the family I know, but we have this in common - we smile big, real, happy smiles ..... even if it is in response to a fart joke.