Happy Holidays.

According to some imaginary tabloid, edited by the commentators of Facebook, sometime around Christmas me and a couple of other workshy furloughers wrote a petition to the almighty Santa. We were bitter because we've worked since our teens and know that the hope of retiring when we are fit and well enough to enjoy a rest is a thing of the past. So, we asked him nicely for a break from doing something useful, the waking and the getting ready and the going out to work was getting all too much and we dreamed of a life of Netflix, solo walks and tending our window sill gardens. Luckily for us the almighty Santa came up trumps and sent some invisible, flying around things which sometimes land and make some people sick, and some really unlucky ones die...... It was a small price to pay for an elongated holiday and according to the tabloid viewpoints, a price we are willing to pay.

I recognise my own facetiousness and understand that some may think, given our current crisis, I should have drawn a line under this level of tastelessness - live's have been lost, far above the 'normal' amount us humans struggle to cope with. This means that across the country, families and friends are grieving the loss of people they love, for a human there is no bigger tragedy. And yet, there is a proportion of this nation that somehow believe that those of us not in our places of work are wanting to prolong this pain so we can continue with our 'jollies'. This has not and never has been a holiday. Those 'lucky' enough not to work and continue to be OK financially, are not, by their circumstances to be judged as lazy and workshy. The fact is people have not fore-planned (or asked the almighty Santa) for the events that they have found themselves in. In my opinion, there are few humans who'd have the stomach to wish a deadly virus on others just to have a little extra time to themselves, no matter how stressful their usual lives become. As a nation, we pick and choose which groups of people deserve unplanned-for 'benefits', for example no-one questions the rewards afforded to beautiful people, who generally 'do better' on account of genetic luck - but vilify people who, by no fault of their own, are paid to not do their job and help keep a nation safe.

There is no doubt that some people live their working lives in too much stress, and a break from that (no matter what the circumstances) can help people reevaluate their psychological health. It is called making the best of a terrible situation and it is something many of us humans are programmed to do, on account of survival. At present we are awash with the ordinary folk posting pictures of their daily walks, tiktoks, or their craft projects, or if you are like me- what you got dressed into that day. Maybe some are living their 'best lives' ever; the question I would ask is 'Am I really the type who would want everyone to suffer equally? What am I asking for, fairness? Equality'?' This I consider particularly hypocritical, considering we still have a huge job before us before we create a nation free from other aspects of inequality. I think I would rather joy was spread than suffering - even if it is in the form of an insufferable tiktok. I think all this 'jolly time' outpouring is less of a reflection of a nation enjoying a lovely, long holiday and more of the ordinary folk trying to reach out to others and say quietly, 'hang on in, it will be over some day'. Whilst many enjoy their small acts of survival, it is only right to spend time reflecting on the numbers of people whose will to survive has been lost or irrevocably damaged. Another reason to realise for very many this is so far from a holiday.

I guess I have broken a resolution, I promised (myself) that I wouldn't get too serious in my lockdown journal, I would keep it light entertainment. But secret resolves are always there to be broken. I guess I wanted to stand up for the people who, through no choice of their own, are at home with slightly more time on their hands than others. I also want to remind us that the human psyche is delicate and precious and what is one person's holiday is another person's hell and we often do not find that out until it is far too late -a silly, jolly tiktok can cover a mountain of pain.

I for one, cannot wait to go back. Of course I will go back when they call me, but I am talking about when school's are finally, fully open: full classrooms, snot flying, close up enough to see up the teenies nostrils, the occasional sick incident, tig, little ones with lisps drooling as they talk, accidentally wiping hands on curtains instead of paper towels - that kinda opening, because then the world will be some sort of 'normal' again. Perhaps this time 'round we can all be a bit kinder and wash our hands regularly.