All content is content

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I do like to write.  Before 'lockdown' I hadn't written anything for a long time.  Usually, I am studying something, or at least trying to, but I have not been doing any of that for a while. As I have been a year one teacher for a considerable amount of time my writing has consisted of tasks such as  rewriting Shakespeare into sentences consisting of Consonant, Vowel, Consonant words. That and facebook, which has robbed me of any clear idea of grammar and spelling as I join the rest of the nation in their constant confusion of 'your' versus 'you're' and wondering about my friends:  'If there alright'.  I am a little out of practise.  The idea of writing a 'lockdown' journal was to ease myself back in to something I enjoy.  The best thing about writing a journal is that you don't have to ponder too much about content. Content should be easy: You wake up, you do a few things- someone makes you laugh or you read something that gets under your skin- then you wait for sunset,  for the wine to flow, whip out the laptop and do some writing. Easy. 

I think of my ideas in the shower.  Or rather  I recall a significant happening from one of the days I have been awake and prise it from the folds of my cortex. I believe, water stimulates the lagging electrical current that sloshes around in  the grey matter because before water there is radio silence.   I lie - before my shower there is an animal instinct for tea and I wait for the long suffering husband to bring it to me.

This system was working well for me, until this week. My showers have gotten later and later in the day and that means my brain has been mush for longer parts of the day.  I am busy spritzing my drink of water on my face in an  attempt to stimulate my brain in to giving up the reasons why? What exactly is happening between waking, oodles of tea and shower?  And more to the point, who is looking after my children in that interim? 

The trouble with 'lockdown' is you can spiral very quickly. One day you can shower before 10, formulate stimulating and readable journal entries, get a couple of readers and feel everything is alright- the next day you can be wondering if 10pm is too late to shower and where did you put you're children?

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