Who Dares Wins

Last night I was feeling a little sorry for myself and for some reason felt compelled to binge watch celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins... which I fully recommend if you are feeling like you need to be plunged into misery. There is the strange juxtaposition of tragic real life cancer stories in among the irksome achievements of celebrities who turn out to be tougher than you really hoped they would be. I began watching this a little hormonal and fed up; I mean who doesn't  want someone who 'has it all' to be shown up for the whinging baby you hoped them to be.  My batch, including Jeff Brazier, are not really showing themselves up and I am disappointed -celebrities are meant to make us feel better about ourselves as they whinge and flout hardship - but these are having a go and some, with aplomb. I am irritated, awed and intrigued in equal measure.

Then there's a break and I am told: 1 out of 2 of us will get cancer - great, I think sulkily (I am hormonal) and because I have chosen to binge on this show I hear this message more than it is humanly possible without some psychological backlash.Then comes the stories. I know I should feel deeply moved by these stories, these are real people who have been through hell and back, but I feel devoid of emotion, almost as if  someone is trying to manipulate my feelings. I don't feel moved, I feel irritated and I am too robotic to switch my feelings from the excitement of watching celebrities building giant survival snowballs to real life tragedy. Oh God, my daughter is right, I am a complete  see you next Tuesday! As the guilt begins to swell from my fingers to my toes the penny drops - guilt: one of the biggest motivators compelling us to donate to a cause. But the producers of SAS: Who Dares Wins did not bank on me, you see guilt and I go way back, you don't survive a dose of indoctrination without putting guilt in its place and I will be darned if I am guilted into doing good. I finally find the courage to switch off this horror show and realise that I started watching feeling a bit fed up and finished feeling like the truly wretched human being that I am.

 

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