Why I will continue to bore you with my running stories

Time for some honesty. The only people who like to talk about running, are runners. The only people who like to listen to anything to do with running, are runners. It is probably singularly the most boring subject, with the exception of when people list what they have just had for their lunch. Or when someone shows you their holiday snaps. You poor people of a certain age will remember the dread a holiday slide show would evoke. Thank goodness for social media and its 'scroll on by' capacity. Over the years I have developed enough social skills and concentration not to walk off midway through boring conversation. My husband was the one who kindly observed and pointed out my tendency to bolt during 'boring' conversations and now with  practise and perseverance I can nod in the right spots as is socially acceptable; except if you are boring and a twat and then I will allow my flight shoes to run free... fly my pretties.

Honesty goes both ways and I will confess, through gritted teeth and with some doubt that- I am boring too. I do like to talk about running (cos I am a runner) but I never list what I have had for lunch unless it is part of an amusing poo story. I don't care if people run off part way through one of my stories, I can run faster (I am a runner, see) and sometimes I can make a story anecdotal and funny. I am not gonna lie, I get a huge ego when I make people laugh, especially at things they/we shouldn't be laughing at. Sometimes, I dream whole stand up routines and bathe in the laughter until the giggles dissolve into dust bunnies upon waking.

Anyway, today I went for a run. I found a new trail and got licked by a dog. For a few minutes I had fields to the left of me and fields to the right. I ran up a hill and died at the top, then ran down a hill and left the ground to fly like SuperGirl.  Miley came up on the 'phones, she screamed in my ear and told me I was an athlete. I left like a Boss Bitch and like I was the only winner in this world. The few people I saw made way,  waved at me and smiled. Then it rained - just a enough to make the dry earth smell fresh and renewed. With little traffic, I ran down the middle of some roads (with my earphones out- I am not reckless) and for moments I enjoyed everything the lockdown could offer me.

After today's run I realised, as dull as it to mention, that I can never stop going on about the most boring subject there is (unless you are a runner).  Because we are human and as much as we pound the street needlessly and unnecessarily, there will always be that one run in hundred where we feel just a little bit superhuman, a boring one nonetheless.


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